Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The Texans and the Car Doors

I never understood that brand of feminism which got offended when men opened doors for us ladies or waited until we got all the way inside our houses before driving off after a date. I never assumed it meant they thought I couldn't open the door, I just thought it was thoughtful that they did it for me.

But then I met these Texas Men, who come all the way around the car to open the door for you and actually get a little weirded out if you open a regular door for them instead of the other way around. And they don't like it when you sit on the ground if they're in a chair, or if you're standing and they're sitting. I know this one guy who stands literally every time a lady gets up from the table. This just feels like taking it a little too far.

But then this past weekend I spent some time with a good Texas family and mentioned this oddity of the car doors at dinner. It was right after the parental unit had said they were buying dinner, and I had repressed my immediate desire to protest and replaced it with a polite, if effusive, thank you. I thought this was a big step up.

The son of this family said, in response to my inquiry, that he actually enjoyed opening doors -- even car doors -- because it's a good way of telling a person you like them or respect them.

Which is exactly how I feel about feeding people.

I don't invite people over for dinner because i think they can't cook, I do it because I want to do something nice for them because I like them and I like feeling like I'm taking care of people I like. Maybe this door thing is as simple as that.

I honestly had not made that connection.

Well, then all kinds of synapses started firing, and let me simply say here, because there are too many instances of this for me catalog and apologize for them all individually, that I'm really sorry if I've ever told you off or gotten offended when you gave me advice, or when you helped me out of something, or when you opened a door or jar or can of worms for me. I get it now, I swear! Just like when I give advice or a friendly word it's because I like you and respect you, I GET IT that that's what you're doing, too! Ha! Liberation! Car doors and cooking! Same thing!


There really is something to be said for this southern hospitality thing. I missed it. I like it. I think it might be good for me.

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